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Go Somewhere Else and Die Alone, You Moron
Characters Kagayaku Suzume
Roleplayer Rikuya
Status Completed

Go Somewhere Else and Die Alone, You Moron is a roleplay between Rikuya and Bubble-Blitz with their respective characters, Kagayaku Suzume and Ian.


"Don't fucking move. I said it clearly, don't, fucking, move." Said a petite brunette girl who is sitting in the middle of a wide park in the middle of downtown. With her sketch book, she tries to draw a sparrow family happily eating the bread that she gave to them a while ago. She is bothered when drawing birds due to their high level of being scared when they are near any humans, including the Super High School Level Illustrator of Heavenly Born Academy herself, Kagayaku Suzume.

After she succeed in making the bird family eating in front of her, Kagayaku quickly draws them; in very high speed of drawing, she is almost completed the beautiful illustration of the bird family eating in front of a fountain.

"I'd say that drawing would really improve if you shaded that part a little bit more!" Coming from behind and suddenly fingering the girl's sketch, the tall and skinny boy loudly affirmed. His glasses way to big for his face that were almost falling down from his nose and messy curly hair would quickly serve as an identifier for the Hope's Peak Academy: South America Branch's Ultimate Animator, Ian. "God, you're so good! Bet you draw lots of hentai! Nyehehehe!"

His loud voice, coupled with his weird laugh, were enough to scare all the birds away. The illustration is ruined.

When the bird flies, Kagayaku feels the time has stopped. She suddenly can't move and could only stares at her incomplete illustration that she tried to draw with so much efforts. Due to the loud and annoying voice of a stranger beside her, with force she breaks her drawing pen into two and her anger just spurted out of nowhere.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU FUCKING BASTARD." Kagayaku, with her small fist punch the stranger right on his giant glasses, enough to throw it somewhere else.

Triggering a totally blank face of shock, he kept silence for a few seconds. "Oh my fucking jesus!" He screams, bursting in laugh, totally nonchalant about his glasses or the pain. "You're so cute!"

"Now, little princess, you don't need to be so dramatic!" He snatches Suzume's pen and paper, starting to fix the drawing on his own. "No need to get bitter over something so small, you can just replace it and... let me see... Done!" Replacing the birds she wasn't able to finish, he drew realistic leaves that really improved the aesthetic of the illustration, showing it off with a snarky smile.

"So, we made a collab!"

Still trembling due to anger, Kagayaku took the drawing and without looking at it even just one second she tore the paper apart and throw the piece of paper to the stranger's ugly looking face.

All of the park visitor's attention draw to the two teenagers, one of them immediately reported both of them to the security. Kagayaku noticed this and she doesn't want to be bothered by human's existence more than this.

She chose to be silent, gathered all of her drawing equipments to her backpack and quickly leave that bastard alone.

"God, wait! You're such a ridiculous emo!" He follows her, the massive height difference is striking as he walks behind her. "Why don't you just talk to me, fuckface?! You're so mean, daddy!"

To calm herself, Kagayaku already read the guide book on "How to Control Your Anger" because God knows why. One of the steps is to ignore idiot around you by listening to music. So she took her mp3 and uses her earphone, maximizing the volume until she can't hear what that bastard said.

Slap! He did it, slapped the girl's butt and started fingering her waist for her to notice him. He wouldn't desist, no matter what.

Kagayaku was really shocked with what the stranger done to her. Harassing, HARASSING. You know that this bastard will die soon with a creepy cause of death. Kagayaku immediately took her sharp pen from her bag pocket that easy to reach and with all of her power stab the guy's arm with it. This is when they were alone surrounded by the park trees.

"Die, motherfucker." She said while she could see that his arm is bleeding.

"Oh" He said. "OH!" He screamed, falling in the ground and passing out.

Kagayaku rolled her eyes as she saw the stranger just passed out only by that level of bleeding. "Are you a kid... Well, never mind that. This is the warning that you should never mess with me ever again." She cold-heartedly suck all of the blood as her pen's new ink and left the "body" there. Not long after that, many people gathered around his body while Kagayaku managed to escape from the park.

"JOKE!" He raised his head, with a smile, but was surprised to see the girl wasn't there anymore. "She thinks I'm going to desist? It's stalking time, for now on!" Ignoring the giant crowd and the ambulance, he tip-toed away from the park in search of Kagayaku.

Kagayaku will not return to her studio without new illustration. She decided to detour and go somewhere else, but without human and any kinds related to that species. She eventually goes to her secret place to draw, another park but smaller and has greater quality than the bigger park. It was located not far from the earlier park.

She then seated herself on a gazebo and took her drawing equipment out from her bag before it finally start to rain. "Rain...?" She stares at the raindrops at the ground. She let out a smile before she starts to draw again, without any annoying human near her.

"Aren't you bothered at all? Getting all wet and stuff!" The boy popped out from nowhere, covering her with his umbrella and giving a huge smile.

Kagayaku paused her drawing when she heard a familiar voice drawing near. When she turned her head, she knew that the entire day she will be haunted by this giant fucking weirdo that claimed his work could make her illustration even greater. Fuck that, she doesn't need that, she only need time alone to draw. But why it turned out like this? Just why, she wondered.

"So you haven't die yet, what an unfortunate. And what are you talking about? It seems you misunderstood the plot because I fucking take a cover under this gazebo's roof. What a weirdo."

"You're dumb, really dumb" He frowned. "You're so lost in your own little drawing world that you didn't even notice this weird ass gazebo's roof is full of enormous holes. You're literally going to drown here just from the amount of water falling on you."

"And extra: Water don't mix with paper, you drawing is going to be ruined if you wet it!" He lost his frown, once again giving off a huge snarky smile. "So, want my help or... want another drawing to be ruined?! Nyehehehe"

"...I feel like committing suicide now." Kagayaku, being expressionless because she was so tired being annoyed by this fucker right here once again inserted his unused drawing equipment back to her bag, except for a pen and small sketch book. She also took out his umbrella and started to walk away from him slowly... Passing through the rain like a zombie.

"Howdy!" He followed her, as always. "Don't forget me! Why can't we just be friends?"

Kagayaku stopped walking. Turned her head and coldly stared at that stranger's eyes. "We can be friends..." She smiled like an angel, then her expression changed 180 degrees into a demon-looking face; a creepy one. "If you just disappeared from my way, go back to home, be a good boy to your mom, wears your diapers properly and DON'T. EVER. SHOW. UP. AGAIN. We could totally be friends by doing just that."

"Diapers? Kinky" He gave a, short, muffled laugh. "Nah, I want to be in contact with you, like real friends! These who give each other hugs, compliments and advice!"

"Heh. Too bad, I'm not into that kind of disgusting things that called as friendship. I'm out." Once again, she dumped this hell of a guy. Kagayaku doesn't understand why this guy is so eager in becoming friends with her; they started their relationship in bad way and how the hell it comes to this. She will never understands this strange world and humans.

"Why not?" The boy asked, jumping in the way of Kagayaku before she left.

"I'm tired. If you want to be my friend, at least you must understand that I don't want to talk to you at all." Kagayaku walked pass the stranger and immediately left him alone. She's literally tired and forced to go home without any new illustration.

"No talk, hum?" Ian thought, coming to a conclusion: He snatched Kagayaku's drawing material from her hands, running the fastest he could. "If you want it, them come get it!"

Kagayaku stares at that stranger who snatched all of her drawing material from her without any expression. "So this is what they called as fate... Huh, funny enough." She doesn't care with her drawing material took by that stranger; as long as she doesn't have any of her illustration being stolen, she is 100% fine. She has a lot of spares in her studio. So when the stranger moved far far away from her, she walks to her studio like a zombie once again, until she lost the track of that weirdo.

Nope, giving up doesn't exist in my world! If she doesn't follow me that way, I'll find a way for her to follow! Following the zombie isn't something hard, it's a matter of seconds until you reach her again, and even less to take everything you could from her: Her papers with illustrations, her bow and even things she was wearing as accessories. He was determined to catch her attention!

*CLICK* That's the sound of Kagayaku's studio door locked. She glad that she managed to make it in time before anyone could interrupted her. She put her umbrella on its place and entered her studio, passed all rooms until finally she reached her bedroom, passing her body to the bed. She suddenly feels sleepy and droves off to sleep.

Bang! And that's the sound of his hands, banging on the door and frowning intensely. He failed to complete his original plan, but now his mind was able to plan a brand new one at the spot. Analyzing the surroundings, he took his phone out of his pocket.

"Yo, Bianca! Need your help with something there... First, go to the florist..."

Kagayaku had a deep sleep. Didn't bothered by the banging on the door at all. She is tired, so it's usual for her to take a deep sleep like now.

"It's finished, do you like it?" Bianca, the dark-skinned personal assistant, asked to Ian."

"Super perfect! Thank you, boo!" He smiled, now the outside of Kagayaku's gallery was almost a painting: Millions of different flowers created a small rainbow next to the various fruit-filled trees, attracting birds and other small animals. "I hope she likes it... Okay, you can go now, Bianca. Shoo!" He pushes her away and she silently runs away in frustration.

Kagayaku, in the midst of dreaming, saw an image of that bastard chasing after her to the end of the world. She woke up immediately; trembling with fear and full of disgust. "Why am I dream something so disgusting like that...." She came down and walked to the front door, just to make sure that no one follows her until she looked at a tree that strangely appeared; with all of the birds singing happily.


"Surprise! Bet you thought you've seen the last of me!" He smiled, keeping a distance from her. "I understand you now, you aren't the type to talk, so... We still can be friends... I'll promise to keep a distance from you to now on and... and... I'll even shut up for once!"

Staring at that stupid stranger's eyes, that Kagayaku doesn't even know who his name is, she could only sigh and moves her glance towards the sparrow family that happily gathered at their nest. "You'll never understand me." Honestly, she never asked for a friend, even if she only has a friend who stay quiet and never talked to her; she can't bear to have even one person.

"Go home. I'm tired and need some rest." She closed and locked her door, leaving that stranger alone once again.

That's it? Is that the breaking point where you finally give up?

Guess that... even for him, it's not possible to make friends with everyone. There's people who don't need friend at all. He gave up, time to go back home.

Hearing the stranger's footstep slowly fading away, Kagayaku sigh in relief and smiles. She ran into her room, taking her sketch book, drawing equipment, and a chair. She then proceed to lock her studio and ran into the rooftop. She is very glad that the view of the Tree of Life (she dubbed that tree with that name) is even perfect when she viewed it from this point.

Kagayaku seated herself in the chair and started to sketch the tree. This is Kagayaku Suzume, the person that is very happy to have her own happiness as her own. Her earlier ruined illustration paid with this one; which is far better.

"I guess I need to thank that weirdo someday..." Kagayaku speaks to herself. The gentle winds blow and as she finished her illustration. "Well, maybe I'll just do this...." After creating a paper plane of her paper illustration and throws it to the air, flowing with the wind.

"That is the illustration that I draw for you, you shitty weirdo. Hope you don't changed it a single bit or I'll genocide your insides someday." She had enough with the words "friendship", so if this does end her relationship with that stranger permanently, it would be the best for her, the person who is happy on her own.



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